A Lament

You know it is time to make a change when you look in the mirror, at pictures, or at videos of yourself and want to puke! Too bad there are some things that I cannot change...

So, now that I am on facebook I haven't even thought about this blog! I spend all my "extra" time (if there really is such a thing) searching through my friends' pages to see what they are up to now. It is such fun!!! In my life now things are still pretty much the same. School is winding down, thank goodness, and my AP students took their test Thursday, which means all that is left is the senior project focus. I HATE this time of year at school though because everyone gets so snippy about the job -- including me -- like the pay cut, the school board decisions, the summer workshops that we all HATE and are tried to be forced to attend every year, the students who you bend over backwards to help and who just quit trying to pass at all, and really just about everything else that happens.

May is a crazy month with birthdays, mother's day, special days at school like class day and yearbook day, beginning play practice, etc. AND Aida practices have been very fun, even for just music nights. I absolutely L-O-V-E the music for the show and have been waiting so long to do this one. The excitement of the new building just adds to the anticipation of it all too.

Things at the store are fine too; April was a slow month, but May seems to have picked up a little. I am very amazed at what some total strangers will say though. For instance, one lady visiting from another state asked my employee in the course of the conversation if she was from here, and when Kathy said yes this customer asked her if she was inbred. Personally, I was offended and it wasn't even me! I would have probably lost it, but Kathy was cool and still nice to the lady. Others just don't hesitate to say really offensive things -- it kind of reminds me of what some people will feel free to say to pregnant women. Geesh, people, THINK about what you say!!!! Other than that, most of the people who come in the store are extremely nice and I really enjoy owning and running it.

So, that is the run down on my crazy life; nothing much has changed but there you have it. Sorry about the rambling! :)

So excited about...

Ai-da! Ai-da! Ai-ii-da! (I'm singing it in case you can't tell!) I have been waiting for this one for what? 2 years? Yay!!!!!!!!!! Oh, and I read Rachel's blog -- audition dance?! How come I know nothing about this?! Oh, Scot-ta.......????????? :)

No time yet...

So the show has ended and it feels so weird to not see everyone every night...I miss the show because it really was a lot of fun (although I am thankful to not have to take 35 minutes just to put my whole costume on!). However, it still has not completely settled down for me because I have been frantically working on my National Boards every spare minute because the entries have to be completed and postmarked in exactly ONE WEEK! AAAAHHHH! I have procrastinated too long and then got too busy to do it like I should, so now I feel the crunch. Such is my life always!! Maybe after Tuesday I will be able to breathe and be at home and relax and get all rested for the next show (should I be cast in it :) )

KIDDO!!

So my new employee is doing well -- she has jumped right in there (and thinks she owns the place, I think!) but she is one of those people who have the habit of calling everyone a pet name like honey, sweetie, sister, etc. The one that really got me, though, is when she called me kiddo. OK, she is a few years older than me but not by much, and I am her boss, so I can't really get my head around the fact that she referred to me as kiddo! :) She also feels the need to give me advice on what I should do or information on the vendors I have been dealing with for weeks like I have never met them. AH, well, at least she shows up, does her job, and I don't have to worry about it!

In my other life, Seussical is very fun. I am so tired (like everyone else right now) that I don't put forth all the energy that I need, but I really need the costume and the audience to feel like the character. I can't get over how many people are in the cast and on the stage and how much more crowded it will be when we all get out HUGE costumes on. I am afraid that some little children will die soon if they don't quit being so annoying...

I am still working on my National Board Certification, which has to be mailed by the 31st of THIS month -- YIKES!!!!!!!!!! I still have so much to do and not enough time to do it in! Once the show is over next week I will have to devote all my time to working on that. I may have to even do that instead of working at the store a few days.

I don't have any other life outside of these 3 things so that wraps up everything new with me. It is all fun and tiring and exciting and wonderful and crazy; that is the way life should be, I guess!

Another one bites the dust...

Well, I have just hired my THIRD employee in 4 months. The best I can figure, I must be a terrible boss!!!! :) The first employee took a full-time job in her career that she had left a year and a half ago, so I can't blame her. The second was doing fine but gave her notice last week because "it just wasn't working out" -- whatever THAT means! She is in her 60s, and I think the whole retail and computer thing was all too much for her to grasp. So, yesterday I hired another woman who has been unemployeed for awhile now, so maybe she will be so happy to have ANY job that she will stay for awhile -- or at least until June when I don't have to worry about not being able to be there. I don't know this woman so that makes me really nervous too; I hope she is OK... Ah, the joys of owning a business!

Homesick

North Carolina has been my home for 19 1/2 years now; this is where I met my husband 19
years ago; this is where my kids were born, where my husband and I had our homes together, where my beautiful NEW home is, where I have been for more than half my life. Why, oh, why am I feeling very homesick? It is not the obvious answer of warmer weather in Florida-- that never has entered my mind this last month. I am not quite sure what it is, but for the last month I have been weepy and depressed and very homesick. For about the 6th time in the last month I have suddenly realized that I am crying and have no explanation as to why. I am not so sure it is really for Florida at all, or even so much as for my family (although that is definitely part of it since I have missed spending the last 2 Christmases with them); instead, I think it might be more like nostalgia for a time in my life where I did not have responsibilities and had friends to hang out with almost every night. I long for that time where I could just laugh and hang out with people who know me and love me and be myself, with no worries. I really miss socializing with people and feel sad that I have very few people I can do that with anymore. I think I also miss feeling excited about life in general. Now don't get me wrong, I am not having a pity party for myself or anything -- I have wonderful friends! I just long to be 18 again, full of life, driving a fast/sporty little car instead of a minivan, nothing to worry about except what we will all do tomorrow night, riding along with the radio cranked up singing at the top of my lungs to some silly song (though I currently do that to some silly musical numbers), going to the beach or out in a boat for some adventure, staying up till early in the morning at friends' houses because we were up giggling most of the night or watching some silly movie (instead of thinking how I will NEVER get up in the morning if I don't fall asleep before 11:00!), and just all around having a good time. I feel like I am just going through the motions of life now, and my husband (wonderful as he is to me) doesn't understand because this is the only place he has ever had any roots. He moved around so much growing up that THIS is his home. I feel like I am caught between 2 worlds and 2 lives. I love my husband and kids and my friends now, but I am never silly anymore, my husband doesn't giggle with me or sing along at the top of his lungs (of course, that might be a good thing -- it IS kind of a scary thought now that I have said it!), that when I do something that is a little different I get weird looks from people around me, that my life is routine and most of the time mundane, and that I will never be able to go back to that time in my life where I feel spontaneous/silly/accepted/whatever. Alas, I guess this all comes with getting old and feeling old -- I DON'T LIKE IT!!!!

A blur...

It is very true that the older you get the more quickly time passes. 2008 is really kind of a blur for me. I've read friends' blogs where each recapped the highlights or significant events of the last year, and I started thinking through the past year for me. Either I am really boring because nothing signifacant happened to me or I just can't remember anything -- another sign of old age, I'm afraid! 2008 seemed to fly by but at the same time, as I look back at it, I feel like January was forever ago. At the beginning of the year I was teaching school and waiting tables, I had a student teacher a couple of days a week, I started working on my National Board certification, I missed out on doing Cinderella, I started preparing for opening my store and suffered through the waiting and slow process of the building completion and lived with a store full of inventory in my house for many months, I celebrated 15 years of marriage, I got to yell a lot and hit people as Lucy in Charlie Brown, I got to see some old friends VERY briefly for a sad occassion, I had my first real accident when my car got rear-ended, I FINALLY moved into and opened the store, and the rest is more of the same. See? boring! Before Christmas I spoke to a girl that I used to be great friends with as a kid; she and I have not had any contact for at least 20 years, so when she called me out of the blue and we started catching up she kept asking me, "So, what have you DONE the last 20 years?" After I told her I got married, started teaching, had 2 kids, built a new house, and opened a store I had nothing else to say. She asked what I did in my spare time/for fun, and I told her I did plays a couple of times a year. She asked me what else I did, and I did not know what to say. I teach, I run the store, I do piles of dirty dishes and laundry, I play games with my kids, I grade way too many papers, I take my kids to gymnastics and sports practice, I try to make it to a few of my husband's baseball games, I go to play practice and performances, and I try to sleep 7 hours a night. There is no other time to do anything else; I guess that is what makes my life and the last year such a blur. It is fun all the same though! :)

OH NO!

Only 12 more shopping days until Christmas, and I actually only have 2 since I will have to shop on Sunday afternoons! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! My tree isn't even up yet because I can't quite get the energy to pull all the stuff out. How can a season I love so much also be one I hate so much? I always feel so rushed to get shopping done in between Christmas programs, and now the store every night and Saturday, Avery's basketball, and Christmas parties and dinners, etc., etc., etc. It is all so fun and so tiring and so busy! I just have to keep reminding myself what it is really important.

Smile and Wave, boys...

Even though I was a solid chunk of ice when it was all over, I had fun Sunday with several friends smiling, waving, and feliz navidad-ing. Here is a picture of me in my dress...

Just kidding! We all know that we would never use costumes like these as long as Scot-Ta is the boss! :)

It was quite fun riding beside my partner in crime -- Mr. Teen Wolf himself...if only we had remembered the rose everyone would have known who we were...

...and the best part of the whole day was eating hot pizza and enjoying the company of those friends I have not had the chance to see for a while! AAAHHHH! What fun!

Thankgiving

With Thanksgiving being tomorrow, here are a few things I am thankful for...(NOT in order of importance to me)

I am thankful for Sundays since it is my only day "off" now, even though I am not able to rest most of the time.

I am thankful for a few more hours of sleep today and that I decided not to work at school today.

I am thankful for my friends who love and support me through all kinds of things.

I am thankful for ooey gooey cinnamon rolls that I make with my kids.

I am thankful for animated movies and for the chance to go see them and laugh with all the children in the theater.

I am thankful for goofy, fun people who keep blogs that make me crack up.

I am thankful for the health of my family.

I am thankful for my husband who has really stepped up in helping me now that the store is open and I am there all the time.

I am thankful for the student teacher I have had for the last 12 weeks, whose ability has allowed me to feel good about giving up my classes and being more flexible for the store's opening month.

I am thankful that my student teacher is now done and I get my classroom back Monday.

I am thankful for the friends I have had my whole life.

I am thankful for the friends I have made in the last 10 years.

I am thankful for my sisters and their love and support.

I am thankful for health and ability to work.

I am thankful that I have a warm coat and fuzzy socks that are helping me to keep warm in this FREEZING weather!

I am thankful that I do not have to fix dinner tomorrow!

I am thankful that our school system has a supplement now because I have some money to buy Christmas presents.

I am thankful for so many things and there is not enough room to write it all down. Make sure to tell the ones you love that you are thankful for them! Happy Turkey Day!

No time like the present...

because I am always running to catch up to it! :) There is not enough time in the day to do ordinary things, let alone to do stuff for my 2 jobs! The store had a good first week and a good grand opening, but I am about dead right now because last Sunday was the only day off I have had in the last 16 days -- I worked 12-13 hour days a week ago Friday and Saturday and 6 hours of Sunday to get the store open, worked both jobs all last week, worked 10 hours last Saturday for the grand opening, and finally had Sunday to go to church and then try to catch up on grocery shopping, laundry, dirty dishes, house cleaning, etc. What a day off, huh?! It has been fun, though, and I would not change anything about it (except to have about 2 more hours of sleep each night!).

WOW!

OK, now we have what I have been waiting for... WE ARE OPEN! The computer and boxes are out of my house finally and the store is open for business. I have worked about 54 hours over the last 5 days at the store, and with the wonderful help of my 2 sisters, my mom and dad, and my brother-in-law, we moved merchandise in Friday and opened on Monday. If you come in the store you will see what a tremendous task that truly was because we have SO much stuff! We have had really positive feedback from everyone (some little old ladies have left without saying anything at all, so it might not appeal to them :) ), and we have had pretty good days and traffic with no advertising other than a sign on the road. This Saturday will be our grand opening and we will have food for a donation going to the hospital's digital mammography machine to tie in with breast cancer awareness month (since we are going to focus on a different organization/charity every month and because it is fitting with my sister's history). Scot-Ta will be doing some music, the AM station will be doing a live remote, we will be raffling off a couple of gift certificates with the proceeds from that also going to the hospital, and lots of other goodies. Come and see!!! :)

REAL progress!

The power is on, furniture has been moved in, and I plan to work like a dog all weekend to get it ready to open for business Monday!!! The following Saturday, hopefully, we'll do something kind of big as a grand opening. YIPPEE!!!!! Come shop, girls!

Well...

we got clearance to occupy the store building now (CO), although the parking lot is not striped. I guess we just needed a handicapped sign on the building by the ramp at the end -- gee, that was hard!!! :/ I guess that is what has taken 3+ weeks to get! Sorry about my sarcasm, but it has been a REALLY long and frustrating wait since we were told we would be open by July 4th! Anyway...we hope to have power by Wednesday, phone by Thursday, and furniture in around the same time. I know we would love to open the doors Saturday, but I am not sure we will be ready -- MAYBE by Monday with a lot of people and a lot of hard work but DEFINITELY by the following weekend. I will definitely be posting that for sure!

Progress?! HA!

Well, September 9th and 10th the parking lot was paved; now here it is September 25 and we still do not have the lot striped, which means we cannot get the final occupancy certificate. He says we should have it by the beginning of next week, but if this follows suit with the way everything has been going, we probably will get in in another 3 weeks. THAT's what I have learned through this process...1 week=3 weeks in CJ time. We are moving furniture in next Tuesday, though, regardless!!! :)

I can believe it...

...because I have seen it -- the parking lot of the store was paved today (or at least half of it) with plans to finish it tomorrow. AAAHHH! PROGRESS!!!!!

What do you think?

I was having a discussion the other day with someone about what the difference is between a FRIEND and an ACQUAINTANCE. How do you determine it? When does an acquaintance turn into a friend? Is it how you feel about that person or is it how he/she feels about you? Is it the amount of time you spend together or is it what you actually do during that time that makes the difference? I am really curious to know this because this person and I had completely different ideas about it, but I realized that I probably have people I would call "friend" that may not count me as such or that I do not really know all that well. According to this person's definition, I do not have many friends but a lot of acquaintances and that makes me very sad. What do you think? Leave me a comment and tell me what your definition is...

In my next life...

I don't believe in reincarnation personally, but if I did, I would want to come back as a man -- or at least in my husband's role! What a life...

1 Week Down...

...only 37 more weeks to go! :) I guess it really was not that bad for the first week of school -- especially since my student teacher took over 2 of my classes. And now I am regretting having to give up my AP class this year, even for just a little while, because I really like them. Oh well! That's the way THAT goes, to quote Linus.