I have a couple of friends right now who are going through some really difficult family problems, and as I find myself thinking and praying for them daily I have been thinking about a few things:

First, people are going to disappoint you. It is inevitable, I guess. The ones we care about the most can inflict the most pain by breaking our hearts. It makes me scared sometimes to think about the possibility that I could wake up one day and things could be completely turned upside down. I guess that is when faith kicks in and you learn to depend on God.

Second, everyone is going to face something tough. I have lived in a relatively peaceful little bubble my whole life; I have had family members affected by illness, but not me personally so far. I have had grandparents and distant relatives die, but not unexpectedly or those that had a profound effect on me. I have been thinking lately that I seem to be waiting for the other shoe to drop -- that I am living as though I am expecting something bad to happen to me because nothing really has yet. I do not know if this is a good way to live or not -- it has made me take each moment more seriously, but I think it is a little morbid too.

Third, forgiveness is not impossible but it is very difficult. As much as I hate to admit it, I sometimes hold on to hurt feelings -- I may not always show it on the outside, but I feel it on the inside. I do not hold grudges, but I do not let go of wounded feelings. However, I have a couple of people that I really admire that I have seen be emotionally devastated by someone and still go on to forgive and continue to love that person. I think about one that I know whose spouse was having an affair. Me, I would want to kill my husband and other woman, I would want to see them punished, I would want to nurse my wounded heart by wallowing in self-pity and tears, I would be suspicious and would say the marriage is over because I cannot get past the hurt. However, I think of my friend who wears a smile most days and who is working very hard to keep the marriage together through counseling and forgiveness. My friend is an inspiration to me about the love of God and the way we are supposed to be and how I fall short of that.

I guess we should all be thankful for what we do have as long as we have them, but realize that life is short and nothing is forever except God. I think that just might change the way I live and the value I place on certain things.